For those of you familiar with Eats Shoots and Leaves by the very supportive-sounding Lynne Truss – an amusing book about punctuation  in which, among other things, the author laments the abuse of the humble apostrophe, this will strike a small chord.

Familiar with classic offerings such as We Sell VIDEO’s, DVD’s and CD’s … HOLIDAY COTTAGE’S TO LET … PLEASE REPLACE TROLLEY’S … (Trolley’s what?) … I was staggered by the sheer audacity of  … PANINI’S

Three-in-one!

I thought the mind-boggling GATEAUX’S took the biscuit … but PANINI’S is right up there with it!

A word that’s already plural – surely obvious to anyone who has ever ordered a Cappuccino - being used a singular sense as in ‘I’ll have a Panini’ but to add the extra-pluralising ’s’ - and the possessive apostrophe … seems reckless.

As Panini is the plural of Panino – and Cappuccini is the plural of Cappuccino … we might reasonably expect to hear .. ‘I’ll have a Panini and a Cappuccini‘ ... but no!

We get … ‘I’ll have a Panini and a Cappuccino‘

‘Ah! … but who cares?’

Italians I suppose … Could cause unrest.

Paddy: ‘I’ll have a PANINI please’

Luigi: ‘How many you a’want?’

Paddy: ‘Just the one’

Luigi: ‘You a’say ‘Panini’ … Is a’not a’one! … Is a’more than a’one!’

Paddy: ‘Listen pal … if I want more than one … I’ll ask for more than one’

Luigi: ‘You ask a’for ‘Panini … is a’two … is a’three … you crazy English …’

Paddy: ‘I’m NOT English! … I’m Irish!’

… Downhill all the way after this.

Article Sponsored by I.S.C.U.P.

[The Irish Society for the Correct Use of the word Panini]